Being able to say no to your child, yourself, or your partner without going into fear of disconnection, self-judgment, or resentment takes practice.

Most people have negative associations with the word no, but it can be liberating, especially when it’s embodied. Often, people believe that no has to be said aggressively to be heard. That is when it is disembodied. An embodied no means your words, energy, and physicality are congruent and come across as very clear.

Every day is a set of challenges and opportunities to make choices.

We don’t always feel like we have a choice because choosing one thing means saying no to something else, and we may not feel 100% behind a choice. We can have split parts; one part of us wants this, and another part wants that. One part wants to stay in a relationship, the other part recognizes that your needs aren’t being met. One part wants your child to be endlessly happy, but you also want them to be safe and rested, and this means saying no. One part wants to go to that gathering and fears being home alone, the other knows you need to rest and be ok with solitude.